I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Randomize
