I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
