I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
