the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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