was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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