So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
