new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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