So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
