How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
