State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
