so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize