She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
