just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
