the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
