I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
