she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
