what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
