please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
