If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
