Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
