that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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