Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
