So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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