Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
