U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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