take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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