I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
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He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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