We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
