My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
