i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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