I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
