a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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