i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize