just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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