who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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