She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
