ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Randomize
