i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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