IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
