I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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