Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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