just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
please don't ironically join a cult
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