Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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