im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
