i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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