Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Four minutes until I can fart!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
