if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
