sarcasm needs its own font
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
