I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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