You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
