Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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