'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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