She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
