Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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