I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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