I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
