the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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