dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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