I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize