hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
