Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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