he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
