he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
