i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
